5 Top Ways to Break the Ice on Cougar Dating Sites

Meeting cougars online is always exciting, but making that first move isn’t easy. What’s the best thing to say? How do you find something meaningful to discuss? How do you broach the subject of a date? Well, rest easy because we’ve 5 top tips for breaking the ice on cougar dating websites…

1: Avoid message bombing

Message bombing is when you send the same (or similar) messages out to lots of people at once. It might seem like you’re increasing your chances of reaching out to someone, but we tend to think that it seems impersonal, and therefore is less effective than sending a personal message. Message bombs are easy to identify because they don’t relate any personal information about the person they’ve been sent to. You might even receive messages like this, asking for erotic rendezvous or saying something like “Hey, great profile!” Whilst this isn’t always a bad thing, and it may actually work for some people, if you’re serious about finding a cougar to date then you might want to avoid generic messages.

2: Be personal

This links to avoiding message bombing, but also all messages and correspondence with members. Dating is about personal connections, so why not explore someone’s profile and ask them about something they’re interested in? Mutual interests (be they regular hobbies or sexual preferences) are a good place to begin. Showing a little personality in your messages, and on your profile page, is a good way to help other members to understand who you are and what you’re looking for.

3: Cam chat

Some members may prefer to chat using their web cam. Sometimes, you may find erotic or adult content in these chats, but it’s usually relatively easy to identify the nature of the chat before entering it. Cam chat allows you to better understand one another through your voice and behavior, which is really useful because sometimes text-only chat can be confusing. After all, who hasn’t received an email in which the tone was hard to judge? Cam chats can offer a more personal connection, particularly in private rooms, and are a safe space for you to explore one another.

4: Play games

Some sites might have matching games, personality quizzes, or just fun games to play whilst you chat. These provide a reason to talk to one another (“Hey, our personalities are 80% compatible, fancy talking?”) and something to do whilst you’re online. Games can offer a nice alternative to the usual ‘search and message’ approach to finding dates, and can reduce the stress of sending an ice-breaker message, because you’re given an excuse to get in touch.

5: Meet on forums

Forums and chat rooms allow you to meet lots of cougars or cubs at once. You will find a variety of chat topics, ranging from erotic explorations to more everyday discussions, and will be able to chat to multiple like-minded members. Once you’ve had a chance to get to know a few people within a chat room, you can then move on to private messages, as you already know each other and have something in common to chat about. This reduces the anxiety of ‘one on one’ first messages and can be a great way to make friends and meet dates online.

The lowdown…

Breaking the ice isn’t always easy. The trick is to find something you have in common, and to approach in an open, friendly way. Cougar sites can be a little more adult than other dating sites, so desires and fantasies aren’t off the cards. We think that a personal approach (rather than message bombing) is usually more effective, but you can also visit group chats to get a sense of who’s active online, and who you might like to get closer to. Matching games, personality quizzes and other fun activities are useful for helping conversation flow, and you might even benefit from checking out any web cam options, which are great if you want to get closer and more personal with cougars or cubs online.